my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
