I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
