in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
