what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
