that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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