dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
