He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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