Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
