i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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