why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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