Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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