Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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