Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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