I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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