Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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