I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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