things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
