I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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