I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
do nipples grow back?
Randomize