There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
