What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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