my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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