Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
