dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there