I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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