do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
