I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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