She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Your topless pictures make me question reality
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
