HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
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the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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