he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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