oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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