I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
