How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
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He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
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You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
please don't ironically join a cult
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