i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
