Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
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I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
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If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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