I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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