Will you blow on my dice?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
