She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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