I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
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We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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