i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I checked into jail on foursquare
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My ass is underappreciated
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
