She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i think i have two assholes
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Randomize
