Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
