my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
