I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
