I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
