Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
