I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
God I need to hump something, right now.
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