3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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