We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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