i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He did a backflip because drugs
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