four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
