you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
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I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
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I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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