toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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