To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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