i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
