I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just cropdusted the office
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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